Hi there! My name is Aj but if you want you could call me ACR and this is my Deviantart page! Now as a disclaimer I know my page is called ACommissionReviewer however I don't actually review commissions. Not yet at least. That was the original plan but what happened was one thing turned into another and this page has pretty much turned into a response and exposing stupidity page. I hope to one day review commissions with my format that I've written up however I see that becoming less and less likely.
Anyways welcome! My journal is filled with responses and my gallery will have either pic responses or screencap responses! Sometimes my journal will have thought posts by me upon certain topics that may range from Atheism to Gay Rights to Religion. If you aren't someone who enjoys watching drama unfold I don't suggest watching this page, however if you are one that can't watch drama without a bowl of popcorn this is the page for you! If you know something stupid and want me to talk about let me know with a note message, however I may reject it if there is a lack of material or I disagree with the submission.
(I have a big family...lol)
So I just saw the Beauty and the Beast remake and guess what it was pretty shit. As someone who loved the original the idea of a remake of this film just made me cringe. I still had an open mind though considering how good the Cinderella remake was that maybe this would somehow improve upon a near flawless film. The moment I learned who the director and writers were however those fears crept back into my brain. Bill Condon was the director for both Twilight Breaking Dawn films while screenwriter Stephen Chbosky did the screenplay for Rent (which was bad) and writer Evan Spiliotopoulos(?) is mostly known for shitty straight to DVD Disney sequels. I know some people were turned off by Emma Watson being casted as Bella but I didn’t really mind at the time. Emma’s a great actress, sure I hadn’t heard her singing voice but maybe they’ll dub her with someone else’s singing voice who sounds similar to Emma or maybe she knew how to sing to begin with. None of those two things happened however and I realized this the moment her first song came.
Emma Watson can’t sing, not one bit. Kinda sucks for the film considering the fact that Bella is you know the main character and all. Instead of either casting someone who can sing or dubbing Emma they did one of the worst possible choices they could, auto tune her. I don’t mind auto tuned when it is appropriate but when you have classical orchestic music with a voice that’s auto tuned like shit all immersion just dies instantly. Because if that’s how the character’s singing voice sounds like why the fuck does no other character find it strange that she sounds like weird. Instead they just think it’s the best voice out there like how her voice was in the original. There’s little self-awareness in this movie for you to get immersed in it.
There is a ton of CGI in this film and all of it looks terrible. With an estimated budget of $160 million I would’ve assumed the quality of CGI would look better than this shit. Every time Bella was out in the castle’s garden or outside in general it was very obvious to tell what was a set piece and which was just CGI, hell a few of the night scenes reminded me more of the scene in Monsters Inc. where Mike and Sully are abandoned in Alaska during a blizzard. Lumiere, Cogsworth, Mrs. Potts and Chip all looked really bad. Mrs. Posts was the worst because it looks like they just drew her face on the side of tea cattle with a pencil. Cogsworth’s design was kind of cool; whenever he moved or talked you could see the gears inside of him moving with him so looked more like a functioning clock but he still looks so fake on screen. The Beast being CGI makes me wonder why they didn’t try and just copy the original design of him from the 1991 film because he looks gross in the remake. It looks like they tried making him as human as they possibly could without actually making him human.
This movie didn’t have a lot of great performances either, like they nearly miscast everyone. Emma Watson outside of not being able to sing didn’t give Bella any sort of personality depth. She mostly just smiles through the entire movie thus taking a huge dump on how developed Bella’s character was in the original. Luke Evans was the most miscast actor in this film. Instead of Gaston being the tough, strong asshole like in the original here he’s just an asshole who isn’t intimidating at all. It seemed like the only person who had fun with their role was Josh Gad as Lefou which giving his past roles shouldn’t be too surprising. The rest of the cast wasn’t too terrible but nothing to really ride home about.
When it came to the actual story it was also pretty terrible. It tries to follow the original, but with 45 minutes more screen time. There are tons of filler parts where they attempted to stretch out as much material as they could without trying to ruin the original but that fails unsurprisingly. Instead of the church glass pane backstory scene from the original we’re just shown what happens at the beginning of the film. This was originally going to be a part of the original film but was scrapped because it was unnecessary. It makes the Beast and all the other castle characters look like assholes before we actually get some real development with them, thus ruining their likeability. You’d think with all this extra running time they would’ve added more to the relationship of Bella and the Beast but surprisingly they don’t. Instead the relationship just feels so frail and bleak; no attempts at depths were made. The only character they did develop was Bella’s father and while I’m glad they did that I have to wonder if they were too busy working on developing the side characters instead of focusing on the main ones.
Now to address the whole Lefou being gay thing, they didn’t do a whole lot with the concept. I don’t think anyone would’ve noticed or even realized Lefou was gay if it wasn’t for the director announcing he was before the film’s release. I mean he’s just as developed as he was in the original, but he’s also gay. I guess that’s something but not really too relevant to the story. Sure it makes sense why he admires Gaston so much but it’s not like people had a problem believing that Lefou would look up to Gaston in the first place. I never heard someone complain about the original and say “I don’t get why Lefou would look up to Gaston, it makes no sense.” I felt like making the character gay was either an attempt at development, sympathy from modern movie goers, to get easy positive PR for the film, or just an attempt at exploitation of a community. My guess is either option #1 or option #3, possibly #5.
In conclusion this movie was nothing more than a cash grab, and it fucking worked. So far the film’s made over $400 million as of April 6th 2017 and we haven’t even gotten to the Blu Ray stage. It saddens me that it was more successful than the original but the good think here is that the original will always be more memorable than this shit remake. This movie did a whole lot wrong and very few things right and even those things done right don’t make up for the massive flaws this movie carries. Everyone who was picked for this movie was the wrong people. This wasn’t the worst Disney remake I’ve ever seen, 101 Dalmatians from 1996 claims that spot *ba bum tsk*. This certainly is though one of the worse ones Disney has made. I wonder what the next remake on the chopping block is; there are at least 20 more that Disney wants to make. So I’m giving this film a 3/10.